Spring Returns: Illuminating Oneness

I woke from the ethereal dream realm with the words: I want you to merge your work with the 10th ray of light...  echoing in my consciousness.

Not knowing what 'the 10th ray of light' meant made the request seem strangely important. And, though I was lulled by a desire to resume my slumbers, I felt an immediate need to get up and seek the message hidden in the portent, lest time subdue my memory, thereby allowing the edict to drift from whence it came. Already, the one who spoke with a gentle, otherworldly voice, had slipped away... forgotten.

Dreamt last year, on the 26th of August.

Despite the hours I spent researching The 10th Ray of Light, on some level, I did 'fall back asleep'. I was simply too overwhelmed with the many unexpected changes occurring in my life, the increased demands of my creative 'work', and the pressing need to become financially self-supporting, to integrate fully the mysterious words I received during the dreamtime.

Sadly, months passed without giving it further thought. On 12 12, my computer crashed. I was devastated. Everything I had been working on came to a sudden STOP. Disbelief, frustration and angst tainted the days before Winter Solstice. Despite every effort, I could not restore my computer, and I could not afford to purchase a new one. It was as if the Goddess said: Darling, I have been asking you to rest... For so long, I have been pleading with you to slow down, to become quiet and listen for my voice, but you stubbornly refuse, constantly adding more to your 'to-do' list. I am sorry, beloved, but this is the gentlest way I know to make you listen to your inner guidance and heed my wisdom.

The year came to an end... and so did my connection with my online community and my major source of income. Slowly, yet instantly, a silence came over me. I watched old movies, took hour long baths, read imaginative and timeless books.... Unexpectedly, the uncomfortable emotions faded and a deep sense of calm took their place. I noticed my body more, I heard intuitive whispers from my spirit the first time... Though I knew I was increasingly getting further and further behind with my work and other important cyber world obligations (namely, A Winter Goddess Sadhana), somehow, oddly, it was all okay. Day by day, it became easier, almost effortless to let everything go. I could actually feel the layers falling away from me, as if I were disrobing after a long, strenuous day... preparing for bed, (winter, release).

All winter long I felt as if I were held captive by inertia. Uncertain, yet trusting, I surrendered and wearily sank into the protective arms of the vast unknown. Just now, I realize the impact my Winter Goddess Sadhana had on me! As I type this, I can so clearly see how it (the last three months, the events, and spiritual connections) all unfolded (and yet, wove together).

I began this particular Sadhana to bring in deep insight that would create sacred space for being-ness, self-acceptance, self-love, self nurturing, dreams, death, rest, refinement, hope, renewal and awakening, just one day before my computer died. Though I wasn't able to share the Sadhana with the women who signed up, the experience wasn't lost on me. O! This magickal, wonderful life!

Welling up within me is a little smirk of a giggle;

the kind that tease when we have a sudden illuminating awareness

of our own divinity and ability to magickally create.

Today, is my 55th (re)birth(ing) day, mere hours past the Spring Equinox, and my awareness is budding with the promise of a new beginning. Emerging from dark slumbers and shedding the heavy cocoon of transformation, I am finally able to revisit my unusual dream and hopefully, receive the gift it offers.



Spring Returns by Bulgarian artist Nelly Tsenova

Miraculously, I profoundly understand how healing it was to let go, how liberating to release the fear of 'what if', how wise to cease worrying over that which is utterly out of my control and to simply rest in my being, in the moment.

Time spent in quiet contemplation, inner silence and outward detachment is never wasted.

This is when true growth occurs. This is where the roots of my psyche reach deep into the dark soil of my soul to reconnect with what is vital, with what is nourishing. Perhaps, only in this sacred space is found the hidden meaning of dreams; and from where elusive thoughts and emotions manifest and blossom into waking reality.

Until now, I must have been sleepwalking: Awake and traversing through both the mundane and astral levels of consciousness... and yet, not fully aware of the many dimensions where my fathomless spirit resides.

The 10th Ray of Light never even entered my consciousness before this dream... Since, I have pondered it often!

What is the 10th Ray of Light?

The 10th Ray is a Return to Oneness!

This insight is so simple, yet so deeply meaningful for me, as many times I have with great intention, embarked upon a soul retrieval mission only to acknowledge with familiar sadness just how lost I really felt... with no way of knowing how, or where, to find the fractured aspects of my self. Oh! How I ached for the way and wherewithal to gather and reclaim all the lost and missing pieces of my being; those precious parts I both inadvertently and knowingly gave away or sacrificed to be accepted and loved.

A Return to Oneness does not require a shaman, esoteric knowledge, spirit eyes, or countless back steps retracing where and when the loss occurred... rather, it simply requires awareness.

The moment I become aware of my oneness with all that was, is, and ever shall be: 

I am whole.

I am aware that time and space are illusions, that I have never truly been wounded or robbed of my authentic self, and that I am not, nor can I ever be separated from my self or from the divine essence of all that is.

Divine Rays of Illumination 

Through my research, I learned that there are other holy or heavenly rays of light, known as the Divine Rays of Creation or Lights of the Soul. This occult knowledge was first recorded in the 6th century BCE, though many religions and esoteric philosophies expound on these ancient teachings.

Each ray of light possesses its own unique, high-frequency vibration or energy levels, and sacred purposes for our spiritual evolution and enlightenment.

The first seven are associated with the chakras, or wheels of light, which are part of our subtle bodies. The next five (8-12) relate to higher states of consciousness. And, apparently, the Divine Rays of Light are revealed as our consciousness expands, because, according to Valerie Phillips, there are twelve new frequencies of light, rays 13-24!

I am truly interested in learning about each ray of light, but for now, I will focus on the 10th.



The 10th Ray is perceived as a luminous, pearlescent silver or gray flame or light (with a radiant pink, gold or white glow). Its light is said to bring soul consciousness into physical reality.

Known Associations of the 10th Ray of Light:

• from the eleventh dimension; the Andromeda constellation
• anchored to planet Earth on the 8th of October, 1992
• known as the Tenth Cosmic Ray of Divinity: The Light of the Soul is Drawn to Humanity
• overseen by The Divine Directors of the Rays
• governed by The Andromeda Council: Ambassadors and Intergalactic Beings of Light
• sacred purpose is soul integration (merging higher self with all other aspects of the self); expansion of light on the cellular level; awakening and activating dormant DNA and appropriate multi-dimensional memories within the body and energy field
• evolutionary imprint: it contains and provides the information, energy, codes and patterns (resonances) necessary to bring light formations into the body for the creation of our new Mahatma (an adaptation of the Sanskrit word mahātman, which literally meant "great-souled.") Light body which allows us to access our true divinity
• qualities it imbues: balance; equilibrium; justice; LOVE; power; ultimate knowingness and  infinite wisdom; detachment; flow; attainment; responsibility; expansion; self Mastery; self acceptance; the ability to communicate Truth; appreciation; honor; respect; the ability to be present in the moment; calmness, contentment, and deep oneness; a strong sense of purpose; awakening, remembrance and full acceptance of the soul; enlightenment; aids the integration of desired internal and external change, ascension and transcendence
• chakra centers: Throat | Sacral
• mantra (or toning sound): "OOO"
• gifts: harmonic unity with an honest expression of Divine Creatrix' Mighty Soul; Sacred Marriage of divine feminine and divine masculine energies, Oneness, Hieros Gamos (defined as the Sacred Marriage of a Human Being with Divinity or the Inner Spirit and the Unification between all life expressions and its levels of opposite);  Divine Grace and Divine Perception; Unconditional LOVE; Abundance, opulence, prosperity and endless blessings; eternal peace
• affirmations: I am the Divine embodiment of the sacred flame of Divinity. I AM Love, Power and Wisdom, in balanced unity. My soul and I are one. I AM infinite wisdom and detachment as I experience the Higher Mind of Mother/Father | Goddess/God, through the integration of the I AM Presence. I AM ONE with ALL That IS.
• prayer: I now request that all bands of forgetfulness be lifted, so I may experience the immortal aspect of my true nature, my Higher Light.
• mythic personification: Aethiopian Princess Andromeda

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The Peril of Venus: Andromeda (1869) by Paul Gustave Doré

In myth, the innocent Andromeda is stripped naked and chained to a rocky cliff as sacrifice to appease the sea monster for the 'crime' her mother, Cassiopeia made by boasting that her beloved daughter was more beautiful than the  Nereids (the nymph daughters of the sea god). Luckily, it was not to be her fate, as she was rescued by the brave Perseus. Perhaps, symbolically, we damsels in distress, facing peril, or at least, naked and afraid, need only wait as calmly as possible (I know it is not easy when a dragon is waiting to devour you) for our inner masculine to come to the rescue!

It is written, that after her death, the Goddess Athena cast Andromeda into the starry heavens...

In the northern sky approximately 2.5 million light years away from Earth

The Andromeda constellation contains the Andromeda Galaxy

 and is sometimes referred to as the Chained Maiden,

Persea (wife of Perseus), or Cepheis (daughter of Cepheus).

First catalogued by the Greek astronomer Ptolemy in the 2nd century.

NASA photo M31: The Andromeda Galaxy

I have yet to uncover just how profoundly Andromeda is associated with the 10th Ray of Light, but pondering the fact that the Greeks knew her as the Goddess of Dreams (!!!) and that she resides in the heavens, it stirs my imagination to envision the Queenly Andromeda, true to her name, Ruler of Men 
reigning from the cosmic realm.

If you have not guessed, without a shadow of a doubt I know who woke me from my peaceful dream with that unforgettably gentle and otherworldly voice, speaking the words: I want you to merge your work with the 10th Ray of Light. It was the Goddess of Dreams, herself; Andromeda!

If you are familiar with me and my work, then you already know that my guiding Goddess is Inanna, the Queen of Heaven and Earth, and that my work has long been a dedicated soul mission to empower women to awaken, honor, nurture, heal and celebrate the Goddess within, and therefore, you will understand why when I came across and read this beautiful quote by Sonja Myriel RAouine, I felt an instant recognition of TRUTH, and a soulful re-alignment with the Goddess and my Higher Self...

At the eleventh we enter the Great Mystery or the Womb of the Cosmic Mother at the Galactic center - and experience the soft, subtle, and gentle light of the Silver Ray. The Silver Ray represents the highest spiral of the feminine energy, and the most difficult to hold or experience. As we approach the Queen of Heaven, crowned with stars, we have to be in complete inner harmony with ourselves. We must be able to enter the Great Void and experience the loneliness and emptiness before we can encounter the pure love and joy that is our Cosmic Mother.

Her message is that we love and embrace the void - the dark - for it is our gentle, loving and nurturing aspect - the place of rest and equilibrium before we once more engage our creative will. Never again will we fear the dark, our shadow, for within there is only the soft, loving consciousness of the Great Mother. For all is love. The fabric of the Universe is Love. The emptiness and the coldness of the void are illusion, for all is the pure breath of love passing in and out of manifestation.

And at the Galactic center we enter the Womb of Pure Potential from which all things are born. Here, the most beautiful and loving of all Goddesses reside in the Silver Ray.

The Union of the Divine
by the exquisite enchantress, my soul sistar:
 Lisbeth Cheever-Gessaman
She Who Is Art

Though I still do not know exactly how I am to merge my work with the 10th Ray of Light, I do think Andromeda means for me to open my awareness in new ways, to know that I am divinely guided and to continue re-aligning myself with the wisdom I have been given. I am in awe at the entire process of becoming ONE and the way everything weaves together in timeless unity. I feel strongly that all that is divine is cheering me on, and wants me to live my life in the flow of LOVE. I will continue trusting in the pearlescent rays of light, and allowing the Goddess to speak through me so that I may hear and heed Her wisdom.

She means for me to share my truest expression with you, beloved one, so that we can embody all the higher energies and flow in beauty in ways that empower and enrich our lives and our sacred paths. How this will look and feel and change my work, I do not yet know. But, I do know that it will greatly influence everything I do!

Prayers Answered

My soul is a sacred womb and my imagination is the fertile ground where all my dream seeds are lovingly planted... I am a lush garden overgrown with ancient trees, sweet and juicy fallen fruit, tangled roots, fragrant blossoms and enchanting bird song. Truly, I am my own sanctuary. Yet, my inner gardener has foolishly fallen into the depths of a hidden well, and sadly all the hopeful seedlings planted months ago lay neglected.

Fragile by Amber Mehresh 

Do you know the struggle to keep head above water, the clawing to reach higher ground, the clamoring of inner voices which endlessly echo in the darkness? Then you know how exhausting it is; how frightening it is to lose your footing and the great effort required just to hold on to hope...

A certain sadness and frustration torments the situation in knowing that beauty sits languidly among the strong branches and rests peacefully upon the mossy stone where the light and dark of the moon can kiss her face, yet she sees and hears me not; and therefore cannot assist in my liberation...

Sleeping Woman by Domenico Fetti

I wrote those words on the 2nd of May, this year...
How strange now, looking back, knowing all that has since transpired.

When you are in the darkness, unable to see clearly, you simply don't realize that 'beauty' is indeed, hearing your cries for help, your desperation, your silent tears, She is conspiring with the energies of the void to assist you. She is making magick within the darkness that you can't yet see.

This is the truth as I now know it to be. When I wrote those words, I was tormented daily by the man I shared my life and bed with for eight years. Secretly, silently, I was begging the Goddess to hear my pleas and to please help me. (I'll confess to you, darling one, I was so desperate for a way out, that I would ask Her to 'please not let him come home'! That's how frantic I was to escape, but didn't know how to on my own....)

Finding this draft awaiting my completion tonight, I am in awe how attentive the Goddess truly is. On the 26th of May - just twenty four days later, not even a full moon cycle, my prayers were answered. Oh, not in the way I had envisioned, nor in the way I wanted, but she did! After that night, he never came home. She made a way where he wasn't even legally allowed to! I have not spoken a word to him since that night!

Now, I live nearly one hundred miles away, nestled in the mountains that my soul calls home, with my soul sistar, surrounded by beauty and overflowing with creative ideas and a deep, profoundly deep even, sense of peace. I am free!

The fear that kept me bound for so long was that I couldn't make it on my own... I sacrificed so much; the cost too great for the fearful belief that I wouldn't be able to support myself financially.

What I find amazingly fascinating and ironic about this fear, is, this fear still sits within me. I traded so much of myself for the monetary support he provided, yet, here I am with this same fear! I still haven't completely figured this one out... I hear the Goddess saying: oh, darling, foolish girl, didn't you know? Didn't you know, daughter, that fears aren't abated by sacrificing who you are? 

I didn't. But, I do now. So, here I am. In this place of new beginnings. (and for those who have been with me a couple of years, perhaps you remember the animal totem that chose me two years ago was Eagle. She built a nest at the end of my street and would come fish for food in the lake behind my home) in this new home entitled "The Eagles Nest"!

In this holy place of unknown unfolding. I have been freed from the deep well of sadness. I am free from the constant oppression, worry and stress. I am free of the energetically heavyweight that held me back, held me down, denied the truth of who I am, attempted to destroy who I am and what I create, even! I am free!

While sharing my story with you, I heard the Goddess speak that my lesson is: Stop relying on a man to give to you the things you deserve to have with or without him: freedom, home, shelter, nourishment, comfort, protection, peace, beauty, love.

These are the things that I require, and so I must have them. There is no need to beg; no need to fear. Yet, somehow, in the deep recesses of my mind, I still do. Why? I trust the universe, why don't I trust myself ?


I am asking myself the hard questions:

• How do I learn to trust myself after betraying myself over and over again?
• What steps can I take so that I never again give my power away?
• What can I do to convince myself that I am capable of supporting myself on every level?
• How do I take an even bigger leap of faith, and open myself up to receiving what I need with ease, with joy, with belief that I am truly deserving and worthy to receive and have what I need?

I am listening for inner guidance. I am answering my own questions:

• How do I learn to trust myself after betraying myself over and over again? By being honest and accountable to myself. By having compassion for my self. By choosing to trust and believe in my strengths, my love, my beauty, my wisdom, without validation or a magick mirror.
• What steps can I take so that I never again give my power away? Follow my own authentic desires. Make a commitment to be my own strong, gentle lover. To not enter into another relationship until I regain my power, until I learn to wield it and know its true worth. 
• What can I do to convince myself that I am capable of supporting myself on every level? Find my place of balance. Reclaim my center. Believe in my self. Take the position of being my own authority of what I need and what is best for me. Assign myself the task of caring for myself on every level; which means attending to, being responsible for and attentively responding to the needs of my mind, body and spirit on a moment to moment, daily basis. Make choices that are in alignment with my highest good. Trust that 'I got this'!
• How do I take an even bigger leap of faith, and open myself up to receiving what I need with ease, with joy, with belief that I am truly deserving and worthy to have what I need? By surrendering to the unknown. By trusting in She Who Hears My Silent Pleas. By knowing and remembering when I forget, that I am a reflection of the Goddess, and as her daughter it is my birthright to have my needs met, and more than just needs even, but to lavish myself with what is needful so that I can do more than survive, so I may thrive! 

In claiming this for myself, I claim it for all women. In standing in my power, I stand for all women!

Eos, Goddess of the Dawn by violscraper 

I am on my own now. I am working hard sharing my truth, my wisdom, my craft and creations while trusting that it is enough, that I am enough... that the energetic flow of all that I give away joyfully and with a heart of gratitude will flow back to me in like manner.

With this written, know that I still am struggling through the unknown. I do not know where the money will come from to pay my one bill and next months rent. But, I am trusting. As an act of faith, earlier this month I ordered personalized checks from an online company, which I designed myself!

I created a collage image that spoke to me symbolically, of my worth, of my trust, of my gratitude.

The image is of a woman (me), open and free. Her hair is blowing wildly in the wind (I am unbound). She has an owl on her shoulder whispering wisdom, lest she forget. She stands in the center of a lush, green garden where roses blossom profusely. They grace her life with their beauty, their fragrance, their high vibration, and their eternal love. They are reminding her that she, too, is a flower (my soul sistars call me Petal), and that she needs loving care, a firm foundation on which to stand, space to spread her roots (and petals), fresh air, nourishment and the warmth of kind sunshine to grow and bloom fearlessly, so that she can share her beauty with the world.

I was overjoyed when they arrived today! Yet, I didn't realize until this very instant, that I created the words I wrote: I am a lush garden. Here's a photograph, along with the fortune cookie message I received yesterday: You will be traveling and coming into a fortune.

As you will notice, I wrote the first one out to myself for 21,000,000.oo. That's right, twenty-one MILLION dollars. Why that number? Because I'm a 21 girl (birth) and that is an unfathomable amount of money to me. Enough to live my life as I desire. Enough to share and create and travel and leave a legacy for my precious ones. It is a symbolic message to myself that I am WORTHY.

I also wrote an affirmation on the check, as well. A secret message to the Universe, that I am trusting.

Affirmation:

I spend fearlessly and joyfully because money comes to me effortlessly. May we all be blessed abundantly.

This is my experience, my truth. If it resonates with you, I hope that you will open to the possibilities within your own life. That you will pay attention and listen. That you will be grateful for all that you are given, knowing that it is in answer to an unspoken prayer. I hope that you will keep believing that you are being heard, that you are loved. That you will trust that you are capable of living your own life as you see fit. That you are worthy of all you desire. You are, I promise!

Even unwanted experiences offer unexpected gifts and beautiful blessings.